11 things you might have been before you became a “social media expert”

You’ve come a long way baby!

You’re now an expert. A social media expert, in fact.

I bet Mom is beaming with pride.

Here are 11 things you might have been before you became a “social media expert”:

  1. Living in a beat up, ’85 Pontiac Fiero  (It’s great your parents recently let you move into their woodshed. So much roomier!)
  2. The employee of the month at McDonald’s (They don’t give that distinction to just anyone.)
  3. Bernie Madoff’s intern (We’ve all gotta start somewhere.)
  4. Unaware of what that “Twitter thing” was (Thank heavens you now know it’s a tool that “allows firms to leverage the power of conversation to achieve significant ROI and maximize shareholder value.”)
  5. Really hot for iJustine (Oh, wait, that crush happened after you became a social media expert.)
  6. Poor (Mind those economic cycle thingees, you could be again.)
  7. Unemployable (If numbers 2,3 and 8 are wrong.)
  8. A card-carrying member of the “International Brotherhood of Carnival Workers” (I know, the similarities between operating a Tilt-A-Whirl and managing a Facebook fan page are staggering.)
  9. Considering a move to Castro’s Cuba because you hated the idea of anyone making money (Now you just yell a lot about how a Proletarian Revolution will “get that expensive Brogan guy.”)
  10. Wondering if you’d ever get laid again (Cast your net wide in terms of the deities you pray to and it might happen this decade. After all, having sex in your folks’ woodshed is way easier than gettin’ busy in an ’85 Fiero)
  11. “Acting” like a dumb guy on That 70′s Show (If this you, I’m guessing you also have a thing for chicks who, mysteriously, never seem to grow older despite the passage of time)

Have a great week!

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{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }

Aimee Davison April 19, 2010 at 3:54 pm

I was just thinking today that there are an awful lot of Twitter feeds that are about constructing, growing, promoting, monetizing or maintaining Twitter feeds and/or retweeting Social Media Insider knowledge (whatever that is). Twitter sometimes feels like being part of a group that is about being part of a group.

Am I making sense?

Jackson Wightman April 19, 2010 at 4:06 pm

Hey Aimee,

Hope all is well!

Per your comment, I agree that there’s a segment of Twitter that is reminiscent of a high school cafeteria.

I do, however, spend most of my social network time there, perhaps because my attention span is now close to a gnat’s (thank you digital world!!!!).

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